Umm...

2009-02-02T23:12:00.003+08:00

I am sorry to have to declare this blog CLOSED

I find myself unable to keep updating this blog. Anyway, you don't know HOW MUCH it sucks to be me at the moment...

Well, closed until further notice anyway... Sorry!

2008-11-27T20:54:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps. Sorry for the dead blog. So now, I shall attempt to revive it!

So, back from 3 days of screaming kids, crazy girls, and bi-curious 6 year-olds. Yup, I'm talking about Shalom Children Camp. Funnily enough though, I sorta miss those lil' monsters. xP The past 3 days has taught me more about the people around me, myself and life in general. Although it has been tiring, it has been a really enriching experience, and I will definitely help out next year. So kids who knew me in camp, behave yourselves yeah?

So it's back to a week of stoning before YF Camp! Can't wait really.

Update again soon, when I don't feel lazy =P

2008-11-10T09:47:00.000+08:00

Well, the holidays are officially here. And it’s the worst holidays EVER. Nothing much to blog about… Pfft. Sorry again. But I have nothing good to say…

2008-10-08T22:21:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps... Sorry again for blog silence... Alotta stuff going on at the mo'... Exams etc... Freakin' sucks! Hehx.

Haven't really been feeling myself of late... Really. And I just realised. I'm tearing myself up on the inside for a girl I hardly know... And it just sucks. Big time.. So she's popular. She's got looks. And brains. But I hardly know her. This makes me feel stupid... Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid me...

There's just been so much going on in life right now. I'm really getting tired. Time and time again I ask myself, "Why do we live? What is our purpose here on Earth?" and this nagging little voice in my head always tells me the same things, "To f*ck this world up and then die in it..." Mounds of pressure always pour on us from all sides. But I realised, in this rat race that is our lives, we have to keep running, no matter how tired we are... Even when we feel like giving up. We just have to suck it up and carry on. I'm tired too. We're all tired. Life has its many obstacles... "Teenage-hood" is just one obstacle. To give up now, is just... As a "great man" once said, "Don't waste my life..." Hahahahaa... So yeah. I've said my piece. The rest mein Freund, is up to you...

Religion is an enclave I can escape into I guess... Maybe that may sound wrong to many but it's like a sanctuary... But I feel that the Lord will not help me. Not after all that I've done...

Lord, all I can do is to pray that you will grant me self-restraint. And that I can be an instrument for your use... Please help me...

That's all I guess then. 'Til next time...

"Life? It ain't a fairytale... But it ain't hell either..."

2008-09-10T21:48:00.003+08:00

Hey peoples. Sorry for another long period of silence. It's been, well, busy...

The holidays weren't holidays at all! I mean, school was on everyday. Might as well have struck the "holidays" off the roster...

Exams are around the corner, and my revision plan is being pushed back repeatedly. I don't wanna start tho'... Sheesh! I hate the exams. Whoever likes 'em is weird... Stupid. Waste of MY LIFE. Life can be put to better use. Like sleeping, jogging, weightlifting, gaming, SOCCER etc. See? So much of life that still needs to be done. And the exams are reducing the amount of time we get to spend on each of 'em...

You know, it's funny how people can see each other everyday and not mutter a word to each other. And when it gets to "talking" through indirect means like MSN and SMSes, it's possible to talk about anything under the sun. I guess growing up in a digital age really affects how people communicate with each other. And it's getting harder and harder to just TALK to people. And I mean talk! Talking indirectly is SO impersonal, and it's harder to tell if the person "talking" to is genuine. A person can just tell you "Haha" on the web but when on the other end of the line, he/she's probably thinking a whole different thing. Oh well, I guess it will take more effort to keep actual talking alive. If not, the world will probably be in silence...

Hormones are a scourge. They drive me CRAZY. I'm uber confused right now... I agree with my friend though... "Love is like a war... Easy to start but hard to end"

Been feeling sorta emo of late. Don't know why.
And lethargic too. Sleepy......

Anyway, I'll blog till here. Till next time peeps!

"C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre. C'est de la folie (It is magnificent, but it is not war. It is folly"

2008-07-31T22:42:00.002+08:00

The uncertainties of life... Scare me. It's scary to think of what may happen to us the next day. Life. It's wonderful. But scary... It's like in just a second, the entire life that you're familiar with can change so much.

Being a teen now is pretty awesome. But I can NEVER imagine me as an adult... It's scary. Haha. Alotta things scare me. I really can't imagine myself in NS, or with my own kids or when I'm on my deathbed.

Death. What a nice thought. Have any of you ever wondered what lies beyond death? Sure there are teachings of an afterlife, but can anyone really tell you what it feels or looks like? DEATH... It's just a brief second of our lives. In a second you'll be someplace else...

SCARY... Pessimistic.. And now, I'm hopelessly infatuated... With you know who... Some of you may know.

Too tired to blog. Gonna catch some shuteye... At least I blogged as promised eh?

"I'm hopelessly infatuated with you. My little angel. With eyes like deep pools of joy. And a smile that is warmer than a glowing candle yet as brilliant as the stars..."

2008-07-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

Hey guys! Sorry for the LOONNNGGG stretch of "blog-silence" but I haven't had much to blog about.

So yeap. Yesterday was the PSG Family Day. Quite fun... Crapped alot. Erhm... Got my face half burnt by the BBQ(( stupid smoke >=[ )) and listened to two crazy ladies =P singing random songs.... Can't recall much... I have poor STM... =D

Out with my(extended)family today... I don't really feel like I belong... I just feel kind of different. I hardly have anything in common with any of them. I'm always angry with dad, for some reason or another. I hate my(paternal)grandmother too. Ok, maybe I don't HATE her... Dislike, yes... She's so so SO restricting... I'm really going crazy here. And my dad always forces me to spend time with them. I just can't stand it. I really can't. Even when I look at my family portraits. It's always ME who looks out of place. I just can't help but feel that way. And the way my aunts and (paternal)grandmother treat me aren't helping either...

Plus girl troubles have been plaguing my mind again. Girls around me. Friends who are close to me. And my mind always constructs funny scenes of me being with them (nothing dirty guys =.=). So yeap. I AM CONFUSED!!! Well as a great friend of mine once said, "Don't blame me! Blame my testosterones!" xD

Friends too are drifting. I can no longer tell friend from foe... Altho' I doubt I have foes.. =P
Well praise the good Lord I still have a close circle of friends whom I can trust... Or can I?

That's all I can say... Nothing much else... See y'all...

"From: A confused mind, and a screwed up soul..."

2008-06-24T17:15:00.002+08:00

It's the 2nd day after the school holidays.... And I'm still in the holiday mood. Pfft. Can't even listen in class...

Was thinking back to the 30th of March '08. When I was alone in the train with her. I couldn't help but feel like the WORLD'S BIGGEST LOSER... I mean she was RIGHT THERE. I'm so pissed with myself... I couldn't even speak. And to tell the truth my legs were trembling and my heart was racing... Yes girl, that's the effect you have on me... I shoulda just said something... PFFT! I hate myself for it...

School's been sort of a drag. I dunno how I'm going to last the rest of the school term... Can't wait for the weekend...

Sorry for another short post... Some memories just make it too painful...

" And I die one day at a time 'cause I just cant seem to get you off my mind no matter how I tried.. I think that i'm just going crazy one day at a time"

2008-06-21T00:03:00.002+08:00

Today was SUPER! =D

12+++... +! Met Benoit at Pasir Ris Inter. Bought McCafe... Waited for Foster... Dawmb Brandon walked all the way from e!hub to meet us. Then Foster and me walked to e!hub while the other two dickwads waited for the ultra ghey, Lee Yu Jing... So yeap. Bought tickets to The Incredible Hulk. Went to the arcade. Watched the movie... -.- With three horny assholes making a lot of noise(namely: Benoit, Brandon and YJ) then arcade again... Then bought more movie tickets. Watched Get Smart. (Yes! Two movies in a day!) and Brandon went cuckoo again... Saying Agent 99 is hawt and blah... Benoit went to tuition(sucker!)... Arcade(AGAIN -.-''') and uhh... Walked back to White Sands... Ate dinner and looked at games. Then, yes! Arcade AGAIN _|_
After that tried to run from Benoit who came back to look for us. But he found us. Laughing so friggin' hard. Then all went home... Gave Foster a lift. Took back my Xbox controller(finally!) and now I'm HOME... Oh, did I mention we were girl-watching the whole time? (major multi-tasking ^^)

Another great day came and went... I'm bored again -.-''

And yup! I STILL CAN'T UNDERSTAND GIRLS... They confuse me sometimes...

"Infatuation is strange..."

2008-06-14T16:02:00.002+08:00

Hey again!

So today's been a pretty 'OK' kinda day. Woke up at 9.30+++ bathed, changed and rushed to Bedok Inter to meet CK, Weiting, Zhimei, Sherman, Niki and Seekhee. (I think that's all of us?) and then like waited for bus 401 for like FOREVER until we finally realised that the first bus was at 1400hours. Pfft. So we took 196(or was it 197?) to East Coast Parkway... To attend Ms.Lee(Mrs. Tan now)'s ROM. Congrats! So yeap. Then went to Parkway for Mac's and saw JJ there... Disturbed him abit. Bus 197(I think) back to Bedok Inter. And we all went our seperate ways... The End! -.-

So yeah. Tired. Walked home from inter. My feet are killing me!

I find it so hard to understand girls... *sigh*

Okay! I'm bored again... See ya!

"A girl like you is impossible to find..."

2008-06-09T14:13:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps! Sorry I've been MIA but it's been a pretty depressing couple of weeks... And yep, I was barred from the internet for a few weeks.

My results sucked(altho' I ain't surprised) and the last two weeks has left me feeling like a loser.
Sorry for this short post. But, I can't type much anymore... =(

2008-05-05T17:42:00.002+08:00

The first day of the exams are like, finally OVER. T-8 days to freedom... Just 9(I think) more papers to endure... I'm so gonna screw this up. I already screwed up my history... T-T

Lazy to study =X and I still have British Council tomorrow. Don't feel like going though... Haven't even touched my homework. Pfft... Gotta go anyway. See y'all. Next post'll probably be after the exams...

"Love at first sight, never thought it could happen to me..."

2008-05-01T21:13:00.003+08:00

So today was like an extra fun day... Morning woke up. Settled some stuff. Then took a bus down to school. Waited for Jeff. His parents sent us to the Bedok Reservoir Mac's... Then met JJ, Foster, Letong & Veron. Mac's was crowded. So we MRT-d to Changi Airport... =D Went to T3's Mac's. Had lunch.. Then we "studied". Met Aaron, Kashif & PeiEr at Mac's too. Then Zazz called about the Damai in the newspapers thing... So myself and JJ went to Times to buy New Paper. But no stock... So we tried NTUC. STILL DON'T HAVE! So we took a skytrain to T1... Made a fool of ourselves along the way. Then went to NTUC in T1. Finally have... So we bought 3 copies. The cashier thought we were crazy... Mwahahaha... We took a skytrain back to T2. Then transfer skytrain back to T3 -.- So fun. After that Jeff wanted to go look at planes... So we went. Like L.O.L... Then skytrain-ed(AGAIN) to T2. Jeff dragged us to go and look at planes again... Then I tricked Letong & Veron that T2 didn't have an MRT station. So they skytrain-ed to T1. Me and the guys were like laughing our heads off as we took the MRT from T2. MRT-d to Tampines. Girl-watching at the interchange =DD Then had KFC for dinner. Bus-d home... Talked crap on the way of course...

So yeah. Another day of goofing around... Maybe we should do it again? =]

It's been so freakin' long since I messaged her... Should I? Don't wanna come off as despo... But I miss her... ='( She won't message me of course....

"Is your love just a lie? Or is there no love at all?"

P.S- Sorry to Letong & Veron... Didn't mean to give you guys wrong directions but I honestly didn't know...

2008-04-30T11:05:00.002+08:00

I'm sick again... I dunno what's wrong with me nowadays... Falling ill so often...

She hasn't been messaging me the past few days... I don't wanna appear despo... But I miss her ='(

Gonna rest now. Blog sometime later. Or maybe tomorrow... So damn sick...

"Maybe you just have to keep searching for something better than perfect..."

2008-04-19T15:22:00.002+08:00

I'm am so f*cking pissed off right now I could smash a wall! F*ck all hairdressers in the WORLD! F*ckers only now how to make people look like clowns. If you can't cut it. DON'T! Damn you...

Here's what happened:

______________________________________________

Me: Can cut my hair thinner but maintain the length?

Hairdresser: Ok. Cut slope?

Me: No, cut my hair thinner but keep the length

Hairdresser: *nods head* Cut slope?

Me:*shouting* I say CUT THINNER AND KEEP THE LENGTH

Hairdresser: Ok. Ok. I understand...

So I close my eyes and let him do all the work. And when I opened my eyes...

HE CUT SLOPE! WTF?!?! Damn him. R-tard... T.T

___________________________________________________________________

Too pissed off to blog anymore...

"Pictures of you, pictures of me..."

2008-04-16T21:31:00.002+08:00

Another long, long, long, long. LONG day. It was pure torture okay... Early in the mornin'... I'm just wakin' up... Gotta rumble in my belly... Okay. Sounding "Trapped In The Cupboard"-ish... So yeah. Took a shower and dragged my half-dead self to school. Assembly was like boring. Then had a "Student Leader" meeting. Slacking in Mother Tongue(as usual) then was PoA test. For the first time EVER, I could balance EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. Go me.. Go me.. Go me..

The 2.4 run was a total disaster. My legs were like jelly... My chest ached like a son of a bi*tch... And yep, I failed... For the first time! I failed 2.4... Can you believe it? I can't... Well, a whole mess of injuries occured. A leg cramp, and two chest pains. (The class obviously...)

Recess was boring. Ate blah... And I realised some friends aren't really friends at well. They're with you when you're all the way up. And they leave you when they please... Some friends...

History was totally f*cked up... And English was so slack. Chemistry was another DISASTER! The test was like (don't wanna say it). So another failed test... T.T

Napfa was after school. Total crap-ness... I failed another two... Standing broad jump and inclined pull-ups... Damn. So the grand total of the number of tests I failed today: 4! Congratulations... Not!

Training after that(can you believe it?!?!). Actually it was quite slack. But then the *ahem* had to come onto the boat... Spoiler... Then slacked at the playground with the guys. Then the bus-stop. Then the playground again(on my own). End of another boring day.

Competition is in another two days. On 18/4/2008. So like ... We shall defend our title as Plate Champions of the Temasek Regatta!

Sometimes I wonder why I even give a f*ck anymore. It's like no one give a f*ck about me. I'm worthless in everyone's eyes. People ignore me just when they feel like it. DAMN ALL THIS BULLSH*T... I'm hating this. All of this...

Very freakin' tired now... See y'all...

"I'm here without you. But you're still with me in my dreams."

2008-04-08T15:08:00.002+08:00

I'm sick, sick, SICK again! Damn it... Took a blood test just now. Now my arm's numb -.- and the doc still told me, "You'll enjoy it..." F*cking sadist... -.- Too tired to blog now. See ya guys soon...

"For I know not with which what weapons WWIII will be fought. But WWIV will be fought with stick and stones"- Albert Einstein (O.o totally random quote...)

2008-04-06T08:54:00.002+08:00

So it's the end of another freakishly loooong week. Yup, it's been tiring as hell. But fun nonetheless...

Skipped church again today. Not really feeling well... Almost fainted in the bathroom. Anyway this gives me some time to re"configure" my mind. I don't know why I'm starting to feel so uncomfortable in the church. Plus some my friends in church are mostly (sad to say) jackasses.(Emphasize on "some") I need someone to talk to. I mean it.

I'm really, really, REALLY confused right now. Infatuation can be a very misleading thing... I like her, but she ignores me, treats me like I'm invisible, doesn't reply to my messages, won't even talk to me. Even when I'm sitting right beside her, she acts like as if I ain't even there. It cuts man, deep... Feeling a bit too "emo" to type anymore... Blog again soon... (I think...)

"On the first day that I met you, I shoulda learnt to run away, shoulda told you you were crazy and disappeared without a trace. Instead I stood there waiting, hoping you would come around. But you always found a way to bring me down..."

2008-03-29T23:34:00.002+08:00

So today was a freakin' LONG (and I mean LONG) day... Morning woke up... Bathed. Went to school... The interview sucked okay... I mean I TOTALLY blew it... Then played B-Ball with Pan, Cert, Wen Kai (dunno how to spell -.-), Johnathan?(also dunno how to spell T.T), Jeff and and and... I think she's called Hui Jie? (dunno how to to spell AGAIN!...)
Took a bus to TM. Ate KFC... -.- Then walked here and there... Waited for Ruzaini at the traffic junction... Walked to Block 144, then stayed there for like 5 min? Went to Pasir Ris... The YF was having Ultimate Frisbee again... So fun! She was there too... And she was like so HIGH... And I was like damn HIGH too... Pulled a hamstring(the muscle on the bottom of your thigh) though, DAMN PAINFUL! Hitched a ride with Ben. Ate dinner at home then bathed and met Marcus & Jaime(they were like a friggin' couple can?) at Century Square. Watched Step Up 2... My thigh cramped halfway thru' the movie -.- But it was so DAMN cool... Monster rocked! His dancing was like SWEET! And I especially liked the rain scene, the DANCE was like AWESOME! Sent Jamie to meet her mom at Starbucks. Then took a bus home. Slacked at the playground for like 10 min. Went home... Blogging now?

I don't really feel at home in the church anymore... I guess there are some things which I have done... I really feel like I hardly have anyone to talk to in church. And I feel a bit uncomfortable sometimes... My mind's really screwed. I need someone to talk to... Seriously!

Gotta go now... Got duty tomorrow... See y'all!

"Love isn't love if you didn't hurt someone."

2008-03-22T02:26:00.001+08:00

So today... Uh yesterday... Went to church... Back home... Changed... Down to the park for Frisbee! Played with the YF... So much fun... And she called my name! Oh how I was on Cloud 9...

Too bloody tired to blog anymore right now... Blog again sometime soon...

"Do you know how much it hurts me to know that you can laugh, giggle and talk with every other guy but me?"

2008-03-19T19:14:00.002+08:00

School today... It was like f*cked up.... I dunno why just thought so... So Mother Tongue was like boring... Was playing South Park 10 on my phone... -.- Then PoA... I think I understand it? P.E. was like retarded... Run 1.2km I think...(half of 2.4km?) Then do the stupid standing broad jump... Total crap... 100cm? O.o Recess was crap... Stupid new rule to lock up the classrooms... Pfft! Then was History? Boring... Teacher telling lame jokes and grandmother stories again... And Physics... Hate it... Can't even understand a teeny weeny bit of the lesson... Maths was worst of all... can't understand a sh*t... And all the new formulae... Can't get not one in my head...

Then went to mama to wait for Jasper... But walked back to school to change... -.- Then it started pouring... So was like damn happy... 'Cos thought didn't need to go for training... Then went to the HDBs to slack... Walk around... Laugh like morons... Then just before training the rain stop. So just went... Go around the park to play around... Got a dustbin thrown on my head. :'( After training go play at the Bedok Reservoir Park playground... Play around... Went home... Blogging?

I saw her again today... And I was kinda happy when she smiled? O.o I don't even know if she was smiling at me? But still, it brightened up my day... Nothing else to say anymore... Bored to tears... See ya!

"Oh how your megawatt smile brightens up my day, even if it wasn't directed at me..."

2008-03-16T00:05:00.002+08:00

The holidays are over already... So damn fast... Been sleeping around 4-5am the past few days... And still I wake up at 10... I'm starting to look a little like a ghost now... -.- (I shall haunt you?)

School's in... Again... Not even done with my homework... Pfft... Anyway the whole holiday was spent with just me, myself and my com! Boring... Nothing to do... Noone wanted to go out... Then I got grounded on Thursday and Friday for PC overuse... Sad right? I know... >.<

I'm confused... Again... 'Cos I dunno who I like now... Again... There's 2 now... Again... Geez... My mind is screwed!!! Anyway, I shall sleep now... 12am already... Don't wanna look like a ghost tomorrow... I have duty...(welcoming commitee... -.-) Plus I may see her tomorrow... But the feeling just ain't there anymore... Damn... But I still wanna see her... 'Cos she brightens up my day ^^

"Girl(s), you drive me crazy..."

2008-03-13T14:57:00.002+08:00

Are all girls so superficial? I mean, no offense, but it seems to me most girls only go for the looks... Even if that guy's not her crush or anything she will talk to him more than she does to her more, "unfortunate" looking guy friend. So to all my female friends, answer me this. Do looks really count so much? I mean looks will expire someday...

Bored and somehow feeling sad. I don't know why... Just feeling sad...

Supposed to go out today... But got grounded last night... Pfft... Too much com use... Like WTF...

Nothing much else to blog about...

"I should have told you you were crazy and disappeared without a trace..."

2008-03-12T10:42:00.002+08:00

Some holiday this is turning out to be... It's so damn boring... Nothing to do, nowhere to go... She won't go to the movies with me...

Anyway how can they call this a holiday with the amount of homework we get?!?!

I'll blog again sometime soon... I'm using an On-Screen keyboard... My keyboard just conked off..

2008-02-29T08:51:00.002+08:00

Blogging from the comp lab now... Not supposed to. Who cares anyway?

I seriously think I'm gonna fail my Science Common Test... The physics part was a disaster! The chemistry was okay tho'... Pfft! Aw hell... Guess I'll slack this term. Work next term! Mwahahahahahahah! Okaay... Bad plan.

She messaged me! I'm high... Again... -.-''

Better go. Teacher's going ballistic... I think... She keeps lookin' my way... Blog again later... I think...

"Aw shucks... I'm flattered...(I think)"

2008-02-22T17:30:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile since I last posted... So I STILL don't have much to post about...

I'm screwed... I can't get her off my mind...

..........................................

So here's a quick overview of what occured on Saturday, 16th of February.

u·ni·form /ˈyunəˌfɔrm/ [yoo-nuh-fawrm]

identical or consistent, as from example to example, place to place, or moment to moment: uniform spelling; a uniform building code.

a·ga·pe /ɑˈgɑpeɪ, ˈɑgəˌpeɪ, ˈægə-/ [ah-gah-pey, ah-guh-pey, ag-uh-]
unselfish love of one person for another, brotherly love

BreakOut: Uniform Agape was what went on this week for YF. We learnt that we have ONE FORM of LOVE and that is to God and each other.

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
John 13:34-35

The night was filled with fun, laughter and love [in a good sense that is]. The genders each did something special for the other to show their love and appreciation. Practice lasted the whole day but at the end, the girls choreographed a whole dance item for the guys which can be viewed below...

and the guys cooked an extra special dinner for the girls which included appetizers, main course, dessert and drinks. The kitchen was a crazy mess and dinner was made with much much effort put in by the guys. So much slogging away in the kitchen produced a delicious tomato-based pasta which was heavenly. The meat was great and the sauce just enough to compliment the pasta and beef. Dessert was smashing as well, we had those dough-like 'ah-ball-ling' kinda dessert with red bean. A video of the guy's preparing the food can be seen below...

Overall, the night was well spent and although we ended super overtime due to some hitches and glitches in the kitchen... grinz... I'm sure everyone had a blast and enjoyed themselves...

Okay so overall that wasn't really all that quick... But that's what happened....

.......................................

I understand why you want me to let go... But that's the hardest task you could ask of me... I'm sorry...

But here's how I feel:

Another day without you with me is like a blade that cuts right thru' me...
When you call my heart stops beating,
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding...
I guess I could wait forever?
Nothing can be forced... I know... And I won't force anything on you... But please, forgive me...

"I can wait, I can wait forever"

P.S.- I added the playbar for my blogsong so that you can stop the song at your leisure...

2008-02-17T22:19:00.002+08:00

So church today! Stale as usual(sad to say) and the message was like ... But but but I saw her! Then I was like so high. Okay, I'm lame... Then was CE Class... Only two people... -.- Me & Ben.... Two people! Yeap, my class is like SMALL!

Went to White Sands. Bought the new Simple Plan album! And mom treated me to Mac's. Then MRT-d home. Waited for the guys(and gals) to come. Crapped... Alot! And joked around... Sorry I was such a lousy host... P.S P.S...

So then went to Gram's house to toss the yu sheng thing... Got veggies splattered on my hand as usual... -.-

School tomorrow! Boring... I can't stand to think about waking up at 6 tomorrow... Well, I'm so freakin' tired now... Guess I'll grab some shut-eye... Bye y'all!

"I need to learn to just leave the past in the past and find the future..."

2008-02-11T18:16:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps! It's been awhile since I posted but, life's been well... Just life. So anyway....

Chinese New Year was a BORE (as usual). Honestly I'm only into it for the money... $$$! This year was not too bad. Collected a grand total of.... ____! (total secret... to those who already know... ZIP IT!) The boring part about CNY is that every year you see the same old faces and every year the same old faces ask the same OLD questions... E.g- "How old are you?", "Which school are you attending?", "What standard are you in?", "What is your CCA?" and so on, and so forth...

So I'm just BORED to death right now, and the amount of homework just never seems to die down. If you catch my drift. Sometimes, it's just so freakin' difficult to just PICK up a pen and just WRITE something...

Paid for my PSP today... Thanks Pei Er, for helping me get a good price.

Been torrenting games the whole day... Got 4 WORKING ones so far... And I'm trying(focus on TRY-ing) to upload a game to a disc... And it's still uploading... ETA, 2 HOURS and 30MIN?!?!?!
So I'm kind off pissed off at the moment with my computer.

...........................................

You're always on my mind. I told you I gave up but I seriously haven't. Okay? I know, you're head over heels with him. I know I never will have a chance. I'm trying to break off. But the hardest part always seems to be letting go...

I like you a lot. Not just for your looks. But, your wonderful personality. Well to me it's wonderful... And well, sometimes it's just too hard to put into words... I apologize... For everything... But it's never wrong to have a crush on someone... You appear in my dreams every night... You occupy my thoughts every day. It's just hard to stop thinking about you.

I don't want to ruin our long friendship so let's just pretend there's nothing going on... It's hard I know. But it never hurts to try...

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

2008-02-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

Nobody's been tagging my blog... I feel so sad... T.T People so kind tag all of you, you all never tag me...

Okay, over-sensitive... Crap. WTF. I feel so f*cking confused. I don't even know what goes on in my head anymore.

I feel left out a lot nowadays. Friends are no longer friends. Who can I trust? I'm about to explode here... It's so freakin' stressful. Hate this bullshyt.

Work is like piling up. I'm too lazy to start. Gotta go anyway. See y'all... Blog next time.

"Girls. Their minds are more complicated than a complex structure of molecules/atoms(whatever)."

2008-02-01T17:34:00.000+08:00

Today was fun! Released from school early. Then waited at canteen for Yu Jing, Zazz and Le Tong. Then took a bus to Tampines Mall. Me, Benoit and Jun Jie went to Century Square to inquire about PSP prices. Then went to the cinema to see whatever shows were on. Nothing good. So met up with the rest of them. Went to eat McDonald's, saw Keefe, Terence, Jasper, Pei Er, Wei Ting, Joyce and Hui Shan. So many Damaians... >.< Then took a bus to JJ's house. Ran around in the rain. JJ brought his b-ball. Then took 293 on a stupid circle and back to the interchange. Stayed on the bus and rode it (-.-) to Yu Jing's house. Quarreled a bit and Brandon went home (sorry Brandon!). Watched Benoit play DoTA. Listened to Zazz and Veron play the piano. Chased Bao Shi to the bus-stop to get back my phone.

Haven't had this much fun in AGES! So the rest of the day will be spent in total boredom... Zzz... Bye! Oh, and Benoit's new theory,"All the ugly people in this world have steads. But the good-looking ones don't..." xD

"Your eyes are like pools of chocolate that I just wanna drown in..."

2008-01-28T21:48:00.000+08:00

Another boring day today... My mind's a spinnin'... I'm so darn confused...

The irony of it all. I like this person, at least I think I do. And I'm advising her on her BGR with another guy. And sometimes I don't even know why I even do it... I'm still holding on, to thin air. I don't know what else to do. I don't know where else to turn.

So today was just a bore. First day back at school after camp, I was like yawning throughout. And I can't understand a single maths question! I'm so dead this year.

Yeah, so I messaged her today. She replied. And I'm happy! Okay, I know. Very LAME. I really have nothing much else to talk about... So see y'all!

And one more thing,"Happy birthday my dearest! <3"

"Why do I even try?"

2008-01-25T14:21:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back from camp. So it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it, but it was still pretty boring. Though I managed to bond better with the rest of my class... So quick recap...

Day 1(23rd Jan '08):-
First day of camp, and everyone was like, "Boring...". Although some of the girls were pretty high. Over what I really don't wanna know. So we reached there, listened to some dawmb talk and had our tents allocated. Then dumped our bags and I think we cooked our lunch or something. Then campfire prep I think or something like that. We didn't get to do rock-climbing due to rain. But there was abseiling. And it was FUN! Very fun. Although my fingers hurt like hell... Then dinner, shower, sing-along. And my favourite part of the day! Lights-off...

Day 2(24th Jan '08)
The second day of camp and everyone was a bit more cheerful. So after breakfast we conquered the "Sarimbun Challenge". It's exactly like the "walking games" guys from 2E5 used to play, although all the places we went to were BORING. Then was lunch. And then high-elements. I was too freakin' tired to climb so I passed up on it. And my favourite activity was the mud slide. We all got so dirty in the end, the mud pool was quite refreshing actually.(although water went up my nose) Then we built rafts. My team's raft won! Go us, go us, go us... Then was shower(finally) and I bathed and such. Then dinner(got our camp tees!) , and then was the campfire. Everyone was laughing and cheering so loudly. I got a sore throat too... And then was lights-out again after a debrief.

Day 3(25th Jan '08 [today])
And finally the last day of camp has arrived... Everyone was even happier. Breakfast sucked. Then we cleaned up everywhere. Stripped down the tents, washed the tent pegs and canvases.
And then the debrief and prize presentation. Everyone was so much happier once they got their handphones back. Then back to school.

Went with Benoit to 7-Eleven. And then took a bus home. Think I'm gonna sleep now. So bloody sleepy... >.<

"The more I watch you, the more I realise you will never fall for me. But I still hang on to that one thin thread of hope."

2008-01-22T15:33:00.001+08:00

Camp is tomorrow! Nooooo..... I don't wanna go! It's boring. And the toilets are like a frog farm, and it's near an old Chinese cemetery... And it just sucks!

Well on the plus side, she's gone for her camp too... And she messaged me this morning! Okay, so I messaged her. But she replied!

Anyway, it's another boring day. I have tuition tonight... Boring...

And I'm done packing too...

"Ah the sweetness of it all..."

2008-01-19T20:03:00.000+08:00

People get scarier as they get older. They completely transform once they get their first jobs... It's like you think you know them so well, then they get their jobs and *bam!* they become a complete stranger.

I'm feeling fine now, and she finally messaged me!

Went for YF today, it was on the topic of Fear. Quite interesting really.

Anyway, people. Next Saturday, the Shalom youth fellowship will be organizing some fun and games. Everyone, is welcome! It will be at 2:40 pm Saturday 26th of Feb '08. Please contact me those who are interested. SMSes are preferable. Thank you! I really encourage you guys to come, it'll be all fun and games. Trust me. You'll enjoy it. It will be held at Shalom B-P Church by the way.

"You messaged me! I'm in heaven..."

2008-01-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

So today was SUPER boring, I'm feeling better now by the way, 'cos I was stuck at home for the whole day. I watched like 3 movies today... All new DVDs... Watched Die Hard 4.0, Saints and Soldiers & my new favorite movie, 300! Then surfed the net, and blog-hopped, but I didn't tag anyone... Too lazy to. Then I downloaded songs, and watched half of Scary Movie 1 before I got bored. Then I watched Farce of The Penguins. It's so damn funny, but the jokes get stale after awhile.

Slacking now, lazy to do homework anyway(if there even is any)...

I can't help but get this feeling people are avoiding me somehow... I don't know why, but I feel like everybody is.

So umm, 300 was like TOTALLY awesome! All that blood and gore... Plus the fighting sequences and the lines used by the characters ROCKED.

Aannd I have nothing else to blog about. I'm bored stiff!

"I guess I'm better off without you."

2008-01-17T07:46:00.000+08:00

Sick today... Bored to death... And nothing to do either...

"I'm sick, sick, sick!"

2008-01-15T17:49:00.000+08:00

My life is seriously messed up right now. I can't set my priorities straight. I don't know what the hell I'm doing sometimes. And I can't even tell who my real friends are anymore... Maybe it's me who's messed up... I'm hating life as it is. People hate me too... For some reason or another. I can't stay focused on my goals. It's hard for me to trust anyone well enough to share my troubles with. And I'm falling ill so often, it ain't even funny.

So school today was BORING... (as usual) And camp is next week. Darn it...

I'm feeling really moody right now, I promise I'll post longer once I get my life straightened out.

"My life's messed up..."

2008-01-11T18:33:00.000+08:00

I hate time... When you're having the time of your life, it moves by so fast. When you're wishing it will move fast it crawls like a snail.

I wish I could have a time machine. So I could rewind to 2005, the best year of my life(so far), when everything was carefree Or maybe 2006, when life was still at least some fun.

I've been thinking of my primary school days. Oh the fun I had. And of sec 1, when it was like being in primary 1 again. Trying to adjust to a new school...

Rewind time please... That evil thing....

"I need some time in a time machine"

2008-01-09T22:39:00.000+08:00

My dear friends. I have been enlightened on the plight of the world's whale population. I've researched on the problem and it seems that thousands of the dear animals are slaughtered for so-called "scientific research".

I am pleading all of you to take up the cause and sign the petition at http://www.whalesrevenge.com/

This plight goes out to all animal lovers out there, imagine the damage on the eco-system that is caused each year by whaling ships... All your favourite marine animals could be endangered too.

"Go greenpeace!"

2008-01-09T16:27:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling pretty depressed now... Because of the stupid merger... It's a dumb idea, and I really don't see any reason for it.

The way the SPLs reacted just now was quite sad actually... When I look at 'em, I don't see a bunch of snobbish school leaders. No, all I see is one big happy family. Even though I can't say I'm very close to them, but still. And I've learnt one very important lesson today. All principals are heartless, arrogant snobs(with a few exceptions)...

Seriously, the talk earlier wasn't really going anywhere... It was just a whole bunch of bull-crap to say that they were shutting down the peer leaders... And all that time I spent at PL camp too... I really hate for it to be shut down...

Well, it's not like I can do much about the whole thing.

But I have one thing to say, "Peer Leaders 万岁!"

"Peer Leader traditions will LIVE ON!!!"

2008-01-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

Well. First day of British Council today... The norm. But the new teacher is STALE... Boring... Totally un-fun... So yeah. Anyway, there's a new hot gal in class... She is HOT HOT HOT! Quite pretty too... Oh and yeah, first day of class and I made a fool of myself... The picture frame "thing" fell on my head... F*ck...

PE tomorrow... And training too... Damn... Anyway, I'm gonna go grab some shut-eye. See y'all!

"What? I'm just a testosterone driven teenager..."

2008-01-05T01:23:00.000+08:00

First week of school is FINALLY over... I love the weekends! Yup, the first week was the absolute WORST first week of all my school years. A trip to the school barber on the first way back. (did I mention I now look like a moconut[mushroom/coconut]??) And a set of the WORSE teachers I can possibly imagine...

The sec 1s this year are so freakin' stubborn... And very lifeless as well... They are too quiet... *crickets chirping*

Anywho... The CCA exhibitions were today... And I didn't need to go! Yay me! Because dragonboat isn't considered an actual CCA... We'll be the "Last Generation of Dragonboaters"! Sounds cool...

Ah! Homework! It's unbelievable... First day back and there already is homework...

Anyway I gotta go... See y'all real soon!

"Kawaii!!!! Please don't puff up your cheeks like that... They make my insides melt like butter in a hot pan..."

2008-01-02T21:27:00.000+08:00

Today was the ABSOLUTE WORST first day of school in my ENTIRE life! It totally sucked... And I got another freakin' haircut! That's 2 in 1 week... Bloody nonsense...

No mood right now... You try being happy with a mushroom cap for hair see how you like it...

2008-01-01T02:13:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year 2008! Wishing all my peeps out there a blessed and joyous new year. May the new beginning bring happiness and the BEST of luck in everything you guys do!

Okay I'm done...

So another new year, another new chapter... Gonna go to bed now... Sleepy... Bye y'all!

"I don't think you received my message..."

2007-12-30T11:48:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! I'm back!!! So the trip has ended(finally)... I'm back in S'pore and basking in the tropical weather.

So Disneyland wasn't too bad 'cos of the rollercoasters and a lot of shops to browse through so it's not so boring. And SeaWorld totally ROCKED! It was so awesome and the rollercoaster was FANTASTIC! The "Journey to Atlantis"... Half RC half water thingy kind of ride. So yeap I enjoyed myself overall...Or not... Pfft!

The plane ride was enjoyable... Sort of... A cute gal winked at me so I winked back(don't think she saw my wink tho')... Then exchange glances and blah but we never talked... Didn't think I had a chance anyway... She was the pilot's daughter... =P Definitely no chance... But I sat in First Class yesterday! Woots~ For 15 min... -.-

(Heh just in case you're looking "cute gal"... Flight No. SQ 015 from San Francisco to Singapore via Incheon. I was travelling UM...)

Heh, just keeping my hopes up...

"You winked and I winked back... Blah blah blah blah blah..."

2007-12-24T16:34:00.000+08:00

I am so f*cking pissed off with this whole f*cking world!!! Noone gives a f*ck about what the f*ck I want and noone cares a f*cking bit about anything I say. My f*cking opinion never counts and I'm F*CKING PISSED! F*ck all the bullsh*t about fairness... Noone's fair to me... Can't even f*cking say no. Don't have any f*cking rights. Say, "No". And arsehole tells me, "You suck".
Well, don't f*cking ask me for anymore f*cking favours 'cos I'm thru' enduring all the bullsh*t you've been givin' me. F*ck cares if you're 6 months older than me. I don't give a f*ck. I suck? Well, f*ck it 'cos you suck too. B*tch... F*cking c*nt... I hate your f*cking guts!

Okay, I'm so done ranting. So f*cking pissed off right now I'm in no mood to type. I'm back in San Jose by the way. Heading for LA tomorrow. So see y'all... (Woopee, Disneyland... T_T GREAT...)

"Santa Claus can't make me happy with a toy on X'mas day. 'Cos all I want for X'mas is you..."

2007-12-21T15:00:00.000+08:00

Wahoo! Skiing is super fun! And yeap, I'm enjoying myself LOADS... Tho' the ski boots are downright uncomfortable and the effing skis are so freakin' heavy.. I still enjoy it. Whizzing down the slopes... So S-WEET!

Anyway I'll be heading for LA the day after, Disneyland, Sea World and I think Universal Studios... Lazy to really blog much... It spoils the holiday mood.

Anyway I've been dreaming of her these past fews nights. Ex-No. 3... I keep thinking 'bout her, I can't help it. I'm VERY confused right now.

"And I just can't help but think of you..."

2007-12-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

I'm freezing! It's like below 0 deg here in Whistler, British Columbia. And the friggin' 25+++ + hour bus ride was so NOT worth it... My arse hurts like hell... Crap... And the snow ain't white and pure... It's BLACK... BLACK, grey or something... And the Greyhound buses aren't anything special... Honestly, S'pore's Grassland Express is a 100 times better... I think..

We'll be skiing on Monday and blah so yeah. My aunt is rushing me to stop using the PC so I'll TRY to blog again soon...

2007-12-13T09:36:00.001+08:00

Hey peeps! Quite awhile since my last post so...

I've been bowling a lot and stuff, plus SOME sports. SOME... Blah, whatever. Anyway it'll probably be a long time since my next post 'cos this Friday I'll be leaving for Whistler, Vancouver. And after that we'll be headed down to LA. Disneyland! Boring... And Sea World! Not too bad.... And I don't know what else.

It's getting friggin' cold here... And worse thing is my aunt's house doesn't have heating. So that means thick clothing indoors. Crappish. And especially in the mornings. About 50+++ deg Farenheit.

So not much else and yep, I'm down to 1... If you guys catch my drift... But then again, last night I dreamt of her... As in No. 3, or who USED to be No. 3... And I'm hecka confused... I shan't go into details... Anyway, I've been... *ahem* HOBBYING too... So yeah... Miss all of y'all and I'll see ya when I get back! (Miss the weather too...)

"Well, it's too late to regret now..."

2007-12-07T04:08:00.000+08:00

Hi guys. Missin' you guys and S'pore even IF it is raining. I swear my aunt's a mental case. I mean really, she seems like she'll die if she doesn't shout for a day. And my cousin is totally random (the 6yo one)... He'll like whine and suddenly stop and say he's hungry or something. Like that day in Sacremento he was crying and everything 'cos we were teasing him and he ran to hug my aunt then suddenly he's all like, "I want corndog". I was laughing my arse off.

I don't know what's wrong with me... I've been sleeping like at 1 am-ish. Too darn early... How can I live with myself? I think something's wrong with me...

I've been thinking a lot recently, which I might add, explains my frequent silent stretches. I guess having 3 is too much? I don't know... But I know that it's impossible between me and Nos. 2 & 3... So I've decided to forget I even liked 'em. It's just No. 1... But I have this strange feeling I'll get shot down hard. Darn. Screw testosterones. They're driving me nuts...

"Bye... I'm sorry I never told you earlier"

2007-12-02T14:12:00.000+08:00

Cold, cold, cold... I'm hating it already. The weather in the morning and evening is just COLD. I wanna go home! Nothing else really. Went bowling and blah and bought a duffel bag and pretty lame.

Actually after my recent post I've been seeing less and less of *ahem*. My hobby is seriously lagging. REALLY. *wink* If you get my drift. I'm sure some of you already know what I'm talking about. My lil' secret revealed in Bulldog's lesson. *whistles* Seriously not been seeing any of 'em.

Nothing else really. Missing the sun (if there still is any) in S'pore. And yep, I'm outta stuff to say. So, see y'all.

"1, 2, 3..."

2007-11-29T15:29:00.000+08:00

Hello again... Officially my 18th day in the States.. I'm starting to regret coming for the trip. I miss home. A lot... And well, getting scolded EVERY SINGLE DAY is started to take a toll on me... I hate it... I hate it a lot...

This trip has been SORT OF fun though.. Some of you MAY know of my favourite hobby... Well let's just say it's being fulfilled VERY well... *wink wink*

Nothing much else to type about. Been to the library a lot... And not much else. My iPod's been helping a lot too... Well, miss you guys. All of you. And to all my ex-Junyuan schoolmates, sorry for not being able to attend homecoming... Bye!

2007-11-24T11:59:00.000+08:00

Hey people... I'm currently in Sacramento. Quite fun really and we went on a city tour today. Went to see the Capital Building. And I got Arnold Schwarzenegger's business card. Governer of CA. Woohoo! And then we went to Old Sac[cramento]. It's this old western style place with loads of cool stuff. And then the Sacramento Zoo.I think Mandai Zoo's better.

Then back to my cousin's aunt's house. And there was the Thanksgiving dinner last night. Tasted great. And my cousin's cousin's singing is HORRIBLE. He's like one of those American Idol wannabes. (Like William Hung...). =P

I miss home. I really do... And it's hecka cold here. Especially at night. And most of the time is spent playing Nintendo Wii. Well, my cousin's cousin is still singing. And my ears are starting to hurt. Think I'll go play ping pong in the garage. Bye peeps! (I think he's trynna kill a chicken or goat... =P)

"Baby I miss you I do..."

2007-11-19T12:59:00.000+08:00

Okay so today was a bit of a rush. So this afternoon went to some restaurant for lunch. I had meatloaf. The classic American meal... But it SUCKED. It was super salty and they gave BIG servings. So I was struggling just to finish it. Then we went to some park, fooled around etc. Played with other people's dogs. They're so nice... Then we went to see my cousin tryout for some b-ball team. Laughed troughout. He only scored 1 basket but his ego is still as big as ever. Then went to WalGreen to shop a little. I only bought gum. And then went to this restaurant called Layang Layang where they served M'sian food. The closest to home we could get. The portions were huge as ever. Super full. So now I'm bored.

Nothing much else to write. Bye!

"Nothing much to say say say... I miss HER"

2007-11-18T16:52:00.000+08:00

Hello people! It's officially my first week in the USA. Been moving around quite a lot. And my uncle's the type who sees missing mealtimes as a crime. So I've been eating a lot. But I HAVE been watching my weight. So... I'm missing life in S'pore. And the weather. It's getting pretty cold over here. At least I think it is. The portions of food served here are HUGE. And their pizzas are like twice the size of ours. So it's a bit hard to see how so many of them can watch their weights. The people here are very polite. Most of them are anyway. You can tell 'em "Good Morning" and they'll reply. Not like in S'pore. You say "Good Morning" to some passerby and he/she'll stare. Like we're mental or something.

Anyway went to this place called CostCo. It's HUGE.. And we went to eat pizza. AGAIN... Then we went to some place called The Jungle. Quite fun and cheap... But the food sucks.

Well I can't type much more. I gotta go... Bye y'all!

"You're still on my mind...."

2007-11-16T14:47:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps! I don't know what to say anmd I don't really have the mood to 'cos my cousin keeps nagging me... So the weather's still getting colder. Well, it feels that way. And I'm lazy to type out any more journal entries. Anyway, I'm gonna go now. The nagging's driving me crazy!!! So see y'all! And for those who want presents, are candies enough?

P.S- Sorry Foster I can't find the Tickle Me Emo you wanted....

"You're always on my mind...."

2007-11-13T11:46:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps! So life in the USA is so much quieter. And the "branded" stuff here is SOOO much cheaper. You can get a Billa shirt here for only S$18+... So yeah. I'm enjoying it here. And I'm missing you guys. The weather's been pretty constant. Except today tho'... It was as hot as in Singapore. Well nothing much else to say except that my cousin's family fights a lot... See y'all!

"Everytime I think of you I wonder whether telling you was the right thing to do..."

2007-11-12T14:04:00.000+08:00

Day two in the United States. The weather's been pretty good and they carry virtually almost anything in the marts and MEGAMARTS here.
(Emphasize on "ALMOST")

So here are my journal recordings for the past few days.

Day One:-
Korea(Incheon Airport) transit...
5:55 pm Local Time
Temp 13 deg

So the transit was super boring. Didn't do much but the plane had some very good entertainment facilities. I mean VERY good. Although the service can improve. The food sucks as usual. And I'm planning to learn a little bit o' French on the plane. And well, the plane ride was torture!

Somewhere over the Pacific
6:42 am US Time; 11:42 pm S'pore time
Temp -53 deg
Altitude: 35000ft

My butt seriously aches like hell! But the movies make up most of the fun. 881, Underdog, I Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix, M*A*S*H and a few others were all I watched. The meals sucked still. The vegetarian looked so much better. Well, I tried to catch some shuteye (well I tried). And well, 3 hours left of flight time. The service is seriously below standards, you call 'em and they take eons to come. And well, praise the lord. The journey's been pretty smooth.

San Jose, CA
12 pm++ Local Time
Temp (somewhere between 10-15 deg)

We finally landed. Customs took ages, but the rest was okay. And the security wasn't really that tight. And the weather's really good... It's that kind of weather where you can run around and you won't feel tired. Heading for aunt's house now.

San Jose, CA
12:20 pm Local
Temp (about the same)
So we're still on the highways. They're hecka long. I still prefer Singapore's roads. It feels like forever. Although the scenery is pretty worth it.

Day Two:-

09:48 am Local Time.
Temp 10-13 deg Outdoors

The weather's still pretty cool. Much better than Singapore anyway. Hardly anyone awake yet.

12:48 pm Local
Temp 10+ deg.

Watching my cousin play Nintendo Wii for most of the morning made me realise he has some serious ego problems. Going out for lunch now and the weather hasn't changed. They room I was provided wasn't too bad too. And the bed's pretty comfortable. Although th creepy Japanese paper doll hanging in front of me sort of freaks me out.

Well that's all for now.... See y'all!

"And girl, you're all that's on my mind."

2007-11-10T00:16:00.001+08:00

Well, I did it. I told No. 1. The whole truth. And probably just ruined our friendship FOREVER. And I don't know the consequences of what I just did but I don't wanna know either. I feel worse now. Damn.

Flying off in 9 hours from now. It is now 12:19 AM. And damn I feel screwed up.

"The way you stole my heart was outright burglary"

2007-11-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

Well my last day. I still can't send any messages. And I'm super depressed right now. Damn.

And well, nothing much else to blog about, but I will TRY to keep my blog alive while on holiday. Emphasize on "try"... And my deepest sympathies to those whose appeals didn't pull through.

"Let me breathe please."

2007-11-09T12:37:00.000+08:00

My appeal pulled through! Today is my LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY day! But my phone still ain't working. Damn it!

Leaving S'pore tomorrow. At 9am. Have to reach the airport by 6am. Crap.

Nothing much else to write about. See y'all

"How am I s'pposed to tell you now?"

2007-11-06T23:20:00.000+08:00

British Council today. Fun. Lots of fun. We were talking 'bout sharks and stuff. Then after that went to Dr. Yang's to get a flu jab. Arm aches now. Then went back to TM to get my shades. But the lady said that should just buy the Transition lenses. So I did. Yay!

Bored. Still. Listening to damn old songs right now. Don't even know for what.

I need my phone to work. Damn!

"Blah blah blah. I'm getting tired of all this."

2007-11-06T16:04:00.000+08:00

I hate time. It always moves by so fast. No time to do whatever we want to. Time has consumed many friendships. Sometimes, I wish I could just freeze time in it's tracks. Or if I had a time machine, then I could go back in time. When everything was carefree.

The day to my departure draws nearer. And I still can't send messages! !@#&%* Sucks

Nothing else to blog about. Bored. Staring at pictures.

"Girl, I need to live. Stop taking my breath away."

2007-11-05T22:52:00.000+08:00

Just woke up. Came home from "class lunch" and watched TV. Fell asleep on the couch... Weird dreams again... Damn... My mind is so effing screwed up right now I don't wanna talk about it.

So this morning went to appeal, saw Pan and some others sitting at the flagpoles. Went to sign my appeal form, forgot report book. So I went home to get it then went back to school. Sign finished. Walked home. Changed. Came out. Crap, so little people came. So we don't know for some reason or another, we went to Vivo. Went all the way there just to eat at Long John. Then went to the Sky Park to play with water. Fun, but a lot of injuries. Then went to Pet Safari and everything and went all the way back to Tampines. Okay, so it was a total waste of time. Walked around at Tampines Mall. Then went to 77th Street bought some band thingy(Pei Er's idea). Went home. Bored. Fell asleep. So know I'm here. At home. Staring blankly at the PC.

Great, how am I supposed to sleep tonight? Anyway, thanks for today guys, it was fun. I'll probably not be seeing the rest of you till next year. Keep in touch!

"Whenever you walk by my heart goes on a drum roll."

2007-11-05T01:18:00.000+08:00

Well, I quarreled with dad again. Not that uncommon these days...

I told him that I needed a parent with me to go to appeal. But he said he needed to go to work first. All this time he doesn't work enough and now he wants to play the role of "hard-working super dad"? Well I say f*ck it. As if that ain't bad enough. Then he heaps all the blame on me saying it's because I never concentrate on my work that's why I have to appeal. What the hell. I ain't taking any of this kinda sh*t, even if you ARE my dad. This is my future you're talking about here. And do you care one bit? No. You just wanna go ahead and play "hard-working super dad" now. You don't care do you? Then one of these days you're gonna look back and say it's all MY fault. Damn you. This is one of the reasons we hardly get along. Then everytime I try to patch something up after a quarrel, you don't want any of that do you? You just want to play "cool dude" and completely ignore me. To give you a bit of brutal honesty, I REALLY HATE THE WAY YOU MAKE LIFE AT HOME LIKE A PRISON! "You can't do this", "you can't do that". Well sorry to disappoint you, I was never your perfect son. It was always Sam. Sam the Genius, Sam the artist, Sam the one who was musically talented, Sam this, Sam that. I'm so pissed off right now. And one more thing too, from now on, do stuff by yourself. You have legs don't you? Why don't you go and get it? Look who's talking now? Always calling me lazy...

Well guys, I've ranted myself outta steam. I'm still angry tho'... So angry that I can't sleep. See y'all. And it's still raining... Makes me even more sad...

Hey, dad look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan? I know you think I'm wasting my time, doin' all the things I wanna do. And you know what? It hurts when you don't care. But you don't care do you? I was always the black sheep.

"And girl it's in times like these I think about you and all the wounds in my heart just seem to heal..."

2007-11-04T23:56:00.000+08:00

The end of another boring day, in the life of just your average boring teenager.

Church today... Uh yesterday. So I'm part of the welcoming committee and everything so I have to stand by the doorway to greet people. And then I saw No. 1. I was like in a daze. Supposed to say, "Good Morning." At least to her parents anyway, but I couldn't find my voice. My heart was pumping like so damn fast it's a wonder noone heard it. Then she just walked past me, looking the other way... Can't really tell if she was blushing. She's a bit too tan. But she was looking the other way still. Someone please interpret her body language? So, I just found out I totally lose my voice when around the girl I like. Well, that's pretty stupid... I suck at romance totally. And these past few days have been quite busy. Shopping for my winter clothes. Going to Canada for 2 weeks in December too. Skiing. Should be fun. I'll be leaving this Saturday...6am I'll have to be in the airport for anyone who wants to send me off.(I doubt anyone would) I do know one thing for sure. This trip is gonna totally screw up my social life. Unless I have regular access to the PC... And internet!

Well I'm pretty sad. Still sad... This sucks. Sucks. Sucks! About my results that's all. And I still can't send messages from my phone. Stupid. How am I supposed to tell her now? I can't call her. I'll totally ruin everything.

So then went for dinner with the whole family. Boring as hell. Vegetarian some more. Scary.
Then went back to Uncle's house.

At home. Boring. sad... This sucks. Tomorrow is the time for my appeal. Wish me luck! Bye y'all. All 2E5ians'07 remember tomorrow's class lunch at 2pm. Meet at school gates!

"Oh how you made my heart go a-flutter."

2007-11-03T14:28:00.001+08:00

I was bored. So I changed my blog song. It can only be heard on IE... I doesn't work with Firefox. At least, I can't hear anything using Firefox.

So damn fed up. A lot of people are feeling down, so am I. Well this sucks too. See y'all. I'm flying off in 6 days and my phone still won't let me message. What the hell... Well that's just great. How am I supposed to tell her now? If I call I'll just be a stuttering idiot... Damn it!

"Crap. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. I'm done for."

2007-11-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

I am damn angry with myself now. Disappointed to. VERY disappointed. I got into 3E6. What the hell, and there are so many people there I dislike. Worse still, there's ART... I don't care, I absolutely have to appeal. At least 3E5! I hate myself, I hate the world. Anger. It's taking over me.

Beware anger, for such dark emotions lead to the dark side

Anyway, I don't get this whole class selection sh*t. Like they give us a choice at all. It still boils down to the same thing, RESULTS. There's completely no point in this! It's completely mental... Not that Singapore's educational system hasn't always been mental, mind you. There's really no reason for us to choose at all, we're still placed in the classes according to how well we do. What subjects we want to take don't matter does it? We still have to take 'em in the end. This whole thing reeks, I'm telling ya. And this is from the student's point of view. We're taking the exams, we're doing the homework. But noone really cares do they? All they care about is filtering out the average students. Only want the elite. Well I say screw 'em.

Okay... I'm done ranting

Bored, and I just had a whole mess of caffeine... Don't think I'll be sleeping much tonight. Well, night all.

"I think I need some time in my time machine, so I could go back a few years, when the grass was still green."

2007-11-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

I'm bored. But I have to keep this blog alive! So I asked my friends. They told me to blog about "anything". So here goes....

Anything!!!

There! I did it! Bow down, bow down. Who the man?
Lame....

"My life is CRASHING around my ears. It's ruined"

2007-11-02T05:46:00.000+08:00

It's almost daybreak, and I haven't slept an inch the whole night. Couldn't sleep. Was trying to figure out how to break it to her... So now I'm generally sleepy but I don't wanna sleep. I'm bored stiff. Nothin' much to do. BOREDOM... Noone to talk to anyway, everyone's asleep.

I've got a problem. A big problem...

Nothing much else to post. Just another sleepless night. See y'all. And remember all 2E5ians '07 class lunch on 5 Nov, meet at 2pm by the school gates!.

"That special something for me is waking up beside you, to be able to watch the sunrise by your side."

2007-11-01T15:18:00.000+08:00

Just woke up. And I feel like crap. Had one of the weirdest dreams just now. I saw No. 3, but she looked old, faded. It was sad, and she was staring at me from behind this invisible barrier, and she was crying. It was, creepy. And then No. 1 appeared behind the barrier too, but she looked young, almost baby-like. And she was giggling, and sort of beating No. 3 with a baby's rattler. Then No. 2 appeared, in front of the barrier. The side I was on, and she was holding a flower. But the flower was dead. I'm totally freaked out by this

Well, I still feel like crap. And I got no lunch money. And there's no food in the house. I'm having my lunch now though. Milo powder...

Tuition later. Quite fun actually, 'cos it's a tuition where we totally slack if we want to.

BORED!

"She may be a devil to you, but she's an angel to me."

2007-10-31T19:42:00.000+08:00

Solidad Lyrics:-
If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come I'll realise
You're a loss I can't replace

Solidad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Solidad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Solidad

Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

Solidad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Solidad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Solidad

Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

Solidad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Solidad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Solidad

That's how I'm feeling right now. My mind is messed up. 'Cos I remember the first time when No. 3 rejected me...

"Baby, that cut me deep."

2007-10-31T18:57:00.000+08:00

Back from training. My arms are aching like mad. Got a friendly race today, but we lost and had to do pumping. Stupid coach, sabo. And now my 3rd finger on my left hand is feeling like crap, I can't control. It feels useless.

Bored, and sleepy. Haven't slept much in the last 3 days, only clocked 12 hours of sleep (required 8 hours of sleep/day). Can't really sleep. I've been trying to compose a short message to tell No. 1. No luck so far. I've got a splitting headache now.

Going to leave in about a week from now. I'll miss Singapore. It's not like I'm not coming back but 2 months away is quite long.

Nothing much else to write now. And I don't want to type any further. Bye all...

"Why is it so hard just to say, 'I like you'?"

2007-10-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

Another boring day in the life of your average boring teenager. Gaming since 10am this morning but stopped at around 11 'cos dad was showing his signature "black as thunder" face. And he was nagging me loads too. Happened earlier this morning as well. 'Cos I was still awake at around 3am++ and he was over upset. So I just went to sleep. So good boy right? Actually just wanna prevent him from talking crap.

I've made my choice. It shall be No.1. Since she's already ignoring me, if I tell her and she still ignores me then no harm done. I shall push the date forward to the 8 Nov. So wish me luck.

Hope I can stay up late today, but dad never seems to sleep early. Damn... I guess I'll just leave the PC running... Play music and stuff till he's asleep.

See y'all, ain't got much else to talk about. And I'm gonna have a new maths tutor next year. Damn, with some dude in Clementi name Mr. Yeo or something. I still prefer Michael. At least his tuitions are fun...

"Well girl I've decided. Whether or not you want to ignore me is up to you."

2007-10-30T00:44:00.000+08:00

Slept at around 4a.m. yesterday morning. I gotta splitting headache now. I know I should rest, but I can't. I feel that my life is very effed up right now. No. 1, I don't really think I like her anymore. No. 2 is a definite no. And as for No. 3. I could tell her. Then she'll ignore me, or I could keep quiet and she'll never know but she'll still talk to me. I got rejected once. I don't wanna get rejected again.

Everytime I close my eyes, their faces always swim to the forefront of my mind. And I'd be whirling round in circles like a complete moron. Doubt No. 3 even likes me. No. 2 treats me as a brother. And No. 1? I don't know what the hell she thinks of me.

I hate this. Sorry guys, that my posts have been very EMO-ish. But I just ain't got nothing else to write about.

Well, 10 more days before I go. And 10 more days before I decide who to confess to. Do you think 2 months is enough to let me forget everything?

"Infatuation, good in small quantities but disastrous in large proportions."

2007-10-29T01:29:00.000+08:00

It's now like 1 a.m. in the morning. Was supposed to be asleep. But a lot has been nagging at my mind.

I was thinking of all the times we spent as 2E5, and I regret not cherishing those times. Guys, sorry I was such a jackass at times. And to those I offended, I owe you a HUGE apology.

I've been thinking of the 3 again. I think I absolutely HAVE to drop No. 2. I mean, she's my friend's girl. As for No. 3, she rejected me before, I think a year back. I don't think she'll accept me this time. No. 1? I don't know, she seems very hostile nowadays. And, I feel like a total idiot letting her lead me on. It sucks, okay? And now I've got insomnia. Super bored now anyway, I don't have much to do and I can't go to sleep. And the moment I close my eyes their faces come to mind. I'm not ready for this sh*t man. I'm NOT ready!

I'm just gonna try to drift away into dreamland. At least there, all 3'll accept me. And there I will actually have a reason to smile. Good night.

"You're driving me insane!"

2007-10-28T09:45:00.001+08:00

Since all my friends are into providing testimonials for the people of 2e5, I shall go with the trend I guess. These 18-20+ months have been great. You guys were so much fun. So just look out for your name! And I didn't socialize that much so don't expect me to know A LOT about you.

The Girls:---

Zazz: Thanks for all the help you provided me with when I found certain topics difficult and also thanks for listening to me when I went EMO. Keep up the HIGH marks!

Arina: Okay... So I guess we didn't talk a lot during our 18-20+ months in 1E5'06 & 2E5'07. So good luck anyway, and don't stop art. Your art rocks!

Cherlyn: I still haven't forgiven you for putting ice in my shirt. But, I will miss your crazy laughter and blah even though I didn't know you that well. Good luck with everything!

Chervon: Hmm... The thing I will remember about you? Your SARCASM... Okay, so almost the entire 18-20+ months you were totally sarcastic. So umm... This is getting repeated. Good luck!

Wei Ting: Where to start? I guess we didn't really talk much in Sec 1 and we only started talking normally during Sec 2. Don't crap so much already and let's see, study hard. And and don't be scared of taking photos! >.<'' Good luck in your studies and *ahem* love life.

LeTong: My AUNTIE! So we didn't talk that much and everything but thanks for those times you did help me. And good luck with whatever you do. Remember not to drop your phone into the toilet bowl again, and you still owe me a barbie doll... :P

PeiEr: My "granddaughter" of sorts. Thanks for showing me support when my mind was confused and also for keeping my secrets. Work hard! I know you can do better than you did this year!

Doreen: So we mainly talked crap with each other... So, good luck in everything!

ChenQi: We didn't talk much and we only talked during PW. So, work hard and don't think of boys too much. (Thinking of the opposite gender too much is disastrous to academics... I know...)

Kim: We also hardly talked. So, good luck and work hard.

YuYu: Umm... Try to socialize more and stop being such a loner. Don't sleep so much in class too. Good luck with your studies etc.

BaoShi: The big sister whom I hardly talked to. Stop being so obsessed with Ding Jie and try to just move on. Work hard, and ignore your older sister it's your grades anyway, not hers.

Nuri: My friend whom I talked crap with! Continue to crap and drama, 'cos you do those well. And keep up the Anime drawings, they rock!

Rabia: So, we weren't say THAT close but we talked. And thanks for being there and everything. Keep up your hard work and continue to play whatever instrument it is that you play well.

Rafiqa: Stop being such a bimbo, and don't EMO so much. Also, stop saying yourself cute. Good luck!

Riqa: Another friend with whom I talked crap to. Try not to cycle through those boyfriends so quickly and next time try not to buy cigs for your boyfriend's birthday. Work hard, you can do it!

Veron: Try not to cry so much (no offense meant) and continue to work hard! And, try not to let Yu Jing steal your underwear.... :-X

Nadiyah: I don't know what to say to you 'cos I don't really know you that well. So, good luck. And thanks for bearing with our antics as chairwoman.

Hidayah: Try to socialize more with the others! Don't always be alone. I'm sorry we didn't talk a lot but good luck anyway!

HuiShan: My other "granddaughter" and crazed fan of JJ. Yeah, good luck in your studies and sorry I didn't give you your pocket money this year. -.-'''

Pan: Warazaini!! Stop being a crazy monkey all the time, and try not to be so hyper, you'll tire people out. Please please please stop meow-ing too. Good luck with your studies and with your rose. And next time you too want to exchange mush, go to a corner... -.-"

Jasmine: We didn't really talk a lot so good luck!

The boys:---

Brandon: Stop crapping, stop acting sexy and stop being such a horny ass. Also, next time you wanna BCC please lock the door and stop shooting photos of your manhood. Don't slack so much work harder. I always thought you were intelligent, just that you don't use your intelligence in the right places. Stay strong, and never EVER play basketball with your shirt open. It's disgusting.

Jeff: The boss man. Stop slacking so much and don't worry about girls. The only reason you get rejected so much is because you're too quiet. So try to open up more and get out to know the world. Stop rushing home after school everyday to play Warcraft or Maple or whatever. You'll find that the world ain't that bad a place. Glad you finally learnt to order your own food. -.-'''
Continue to play basketball well, and maintain your 6 pack!

Foster: Where to begin? Study harder bro. Doesn't mean your father got the money means you can slack until like that. And don't play until god know what time. Try to get more sleep and stop sleeping during lessons. You're intelligent too, just that you don't wield your intelligence properly.

Nigel: The master of erections. You have to teach me one day how you do that. Okay, so we didn't talk a lot. But I'll miss your horny-ness.

Justin: Sad to say this but you are and always will be, a geek in my eyes. Try to loosen up a bit, and stop worrying about academics so much. There are time when you must just learn to kick off your shoes and relax. Try to get out a bit more too, get to know people.

YuJing: The gay in the class. Try not to gay so much and stop stealing Veron's underwear. :) I know your injuries on Friday were quite serious so get well soon! Also, grow tall soon!

TongHai: Stand up for yourself man! Don't let people bully you, especially me! -.- Sorry that in Sec 1 we didn't hit it off that well and sorry for pushing you around at times. Good luck!

Aidil: Pervertic asshole... Try not to pinch people's tits for a change, and stop telling dirty jokes and sending random messages. Also, stop PRANK CALLING! And stop acting innocent in front of your momma... I can tell her everything...

DingJie: Stop with the "So PRO!" please. Good luck in whatever it is you wanna do...

Khalis: My good bro. Stop being such a clown. And try to stop making fun of others. Keep up the hard work and good luck in whatever you do.

JunJie: The shit fu of lameness in our class. Try to stop being so lame and grow taller!

Louis: Your blue hair is cool! And you rock at bowling. Good luck in whatever you do and you are, no matter what the other boys say, not not NOT(i bolded it) a sissy. You are as manly as they come! Stay cool and stay smart!

YongPeng: Don't act to cold all the time, open up to people and don't care what others might say about you. It's who you are deep down that matters. Good luck!

Benoit: Stop being such and asshole in class and try to stop gaying with Brandon. Good luck in finding your girl and good luck in your studies too. Remember to go for training next week!

Okay, my fingers hurt like crap now. For these 18-20+ months of ups and downs. Thank you for being there 2E5'07! I hope by typing these y'all won't think I'm trying to copy anyone of you, but I just wanted to write 'em too. Seperation is never easy. Keep in touch and I hope you all will still take the effort to meet up once in awhile!

"I'm just a toad, lusting after the flesh of 3 swans..."

2007-10-27T08:48:00.000+08:00

So tired.... Anyway, class BBQ was yesterday. Super fun! But I'm sad, we won't get to see each other everyday from now on. I wish, we could all be in the same class. But, that's downright impossible. I guess so anyway.

Left home at 3. We were supposed to go bowling. Then thanks to Rafiqa we were like just leaving the interchange at 4+. Then took the bus to Marine Parade and walked to East Coast Park. Bowling alley was crowded so we went cycling instead. Yu Jing fell down... :( Then we returned the bikes and walked back to the BBQ pit. Fooled around while the rest were starting the fire. Emo-ed for most of the night, and Ding Jie pushed me into the sea. But, I did push Benoit and Yu Jing (before he fell). Took some photos for the girls then emo-ed some more. Then we all went bowling! Super fun. Waited for the lane until like umm... 10+ and my curfew was at 11. Haha! So we bowled, I totally sucked! 89, my final score. Sucks! Louis was of course the best among us. He got 109. So then walked out to the HDBs across the expressway to catch a cab. Shared one with Pei Er and Pan. Sent Pan first to Bedok MRT then dropped Pei Er home at her block. Then I taxied home. Reached home around 11.45 and I was like so dead because I was 45 minutes past my curfew. But my parents didn't say anything so I just ate something and bathed, brushed teeth etc. and went to bed

Laying in bed this morning, I was thinking of the 3. I just hope I can be in the same class with at least one of the Nos. 2 & 3. No. 1 ain't in my school so I don't really need to care if I'm in the same class as her or not.

2e5'07 we rocked the world! Luv ya guys!

"I wish love was like some retro pop song. I love you, you love me. Boom. End of story. But it's never like that"

2007-10-25T16:52:00.000+08:00

One more day, before the last. I wish I wasn't so emotional...

So school today was like total "slack-dom" Didn't do a bit of work at all... Then watched this video, forgot what it was called. And and, we crapped... Nothing much else.

BORED!

"I wish I could just get this weight off my mind!"

2007-10-24T16:53:00.001+08:00

Today was the most fun I've had in a long time! After school, went with Daryl and DYLAN (Wee Keat) to Blk 912 to play soccer. Was like laughing the whole while, 'cos there was only 3 of us and we were fooling around. Saw Wei Ting's mom also. Then went to 7 Eleven to buy drinks and went back to crap. Still laughing, could hardly breathe. So then Daryl went home, saw Leonard and QZ on the way to the bus-stop. Took 22 to the bus-stop outside the reform centre then went to find Jun Jie, Brandon and Benoit. Crapped some more. Went home.

Skipped training again. =X Now I'm super bored, I'm almost reduced to tears again... And I think the fire is burning a little too close to the fuse, No. 2 & 3 are both getting curious. I'm dead.

"I just want to get away from it all. To fly far away for a long period of time to mull things over away from the storm. I may not make my choice, but I shall confess to either one of the 3 before leaving. That way, I'll have 2 months to live my dreams before coming back to face reality."

2007-10-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! Why the hell did you show me that uber cute face that is now etched in my mind. I fear 2 is now 3! I'm so screwed... My life is screwed. Damn it! I'm so dead. Very dead. My mind is spiraling out of control. I don't know what the hell is up with me. My life seems to revolve around girls nowadays. I must stop all this crap. Or, as my senior once told me, "There is more to life than girls." Must remember that.

Hate this, hate myself.

So was crappin' with Jeff and the guys after school. Talking crap about Brandon's date this Sunday, and how he should defend himself or whatever. It was so crappish! We were like laughing the whole way. Then at the junction near Red Swastika Primary we went out seperate ways. I went home while the rest went to play basketball. I'm such a good boy... Not...

Not much else... 4 more days till this entire fiasco is over. We'll all be split up. School won't be that fun anymore. We won't be all in the same class anymore... NO!!!!!! I don't wanna leave! Like I can help it. -.-

"2 to 3? I'm so screwed..."

2007-10-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

Sick, AGAIN. I don't know what the hell is up with me. Getting sick very often now, must be the "confusion syndrome"... -.- Okay, I know I'm just lame. But honestly. Teacher was complaining last Thursday. I'm one of the top 5 pupils with the most number of MCs! Go me, go me, go me... Top 5, a new record! I guess, I really am confused. My dreams are worse, they revolve around more than 2. My testosterones (hormones) are KILLING me!!! Help!

School tomorrow, boring. And the streaming results will be out. I'm so scared. And my parents are going to murder me.

I don't know how you guys find so much to blog about. I guess, your lives are more interesting than mine. I don't even know who my real friends are now. I really don't know what to do, I'm even afraid, of myself. Well, I hope two months away from all this bullsh*t will help me calm down.

"P.S.- I love you"

2007-10-19T07:27:00.000+08:00

I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC!I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC! I hate my PC!

It's like SO online gamer UNfriendly. Everything I download, the effing machine won't let me run it. Argh... Hate it. And especially because it's coupled with SingNet. Stupid SingNet won't let me access anywhere. They block 75% of all the online game pages that I visit. And those that allow, the downloads only come halfway thru' thanks to SingNet. I hate it. Even tho' it's brand new. And it keeps telling me of some compatibility problems because of Windows Vista. But all my other friends with Vista can play those games. Why can't I. HATE IT!!!!!

"Oh, that "good night" sounded Oh-So-Sweet!"

2007-10-18T14:31:00.001+08:00

Got back my exam results today. I'm so pissed off with myself. Like honestly. I got F9 for maths again. But I got straight Cs for Lit, His & Geog. So it's like okay... Happy with my English results tho'. A2!!! Wahoo!

One more week and this whole piece o' crap is over. It's hard to believe that our class will be jumbled up. I mean, I really like my classmates and I will miss not being in the same classes with some of them. Honestly, I was afraid of secondary school. But the class that's been together for 2 years has really helped me settle down a lot. It's never easy to say goodbye. Sure, we'll all be in the same school. But the people in class will not be the same.

I'll miss you 2e5 '07! I luv ya all!

"Oh, so finally you talk to me..."

2007-10-17T16:44:00.000+08:00

So... It's a day after my b'day. Most of 'em forgot. So I didn't receive the customary birthday splash. Good! So then I went for dinner yesterday. It was like so funny.

So we went to Changi Airport. Wanted to have Sakae Sushi but it was closed. So we went to T1 to find another restaurant. But we couldn't find anything interesting. So we went back to T2 to dine at Swensen's. We were laughing the whole night.

Anyway. A day after my birthday, but I'm still feeling hyper. I was like shouting almost the whole day. Got a sore throat now.

Aw heck. I don't have much else. Bye all.

"You reel me in then push me away. I hate you..."

2007-10-14T23:10:00.001+08:00

Okay... So it's the "after-exam" period. Well who cares? I'm still bored. I've got no mood to go out, no mood to play with my dog, no mood to even watch TV. And I've been losing my appetite too. Well, maybe I can lose some weight. Or not... I'm about to bawl my head off right now. Yeah, and tomorrow I have to go down to Depot Road to apply for an exit permit. How "fun"!

Well life's been mundane as usual. (Since when has it been interesting?) And I just don't have much to talk about.

Well, my relationship with my father is a tad bit rocky these days. He's always showing me his famous "stone face". Like I care. And the other day he was scolding the dog, blaming more rather, so I was trying to defend her. Well, I got scolded. And he took a jab at my poor results. Well, that cut me deep. Maybe some of you may think I'm being oversensitive. But this time it stung. Bad.
Parenting 101:-
4 Golden Rules!!!
Rule 1: Never, ever take a jab at your kid's results. Especially if he/she's doing badly.
Rule 2: Consider your children's feelings. They're human too ya know.
Rule 3: A smile always helps. Avoid the stony faces if possible.
Rule 4: And your kids aren't servants! Don't order them around! A simple "Please" works just fine.
Rule 5: Instead of shouting all the time. You may just consider the "talking" option.
To all grown-ups who may be reading this. You may say I don't know how a parent feels. You're right. I don't. All I said above is from a child's point of view. I don't care whether you agree with me or not. It's my blog.

So well, I guess I don't have much else to talk about. And yeah, the girl problem is still weighing me down. I mean, we're all teenagers. Infatuation comes to us naturally doesn't it? Well, I already struck one out. But now I don't know about the other one. Somebody help.

"Sorry, I can't do this to myself."

2007-10-11T14:41:00.000+08:00

Examinations are OVER! Let's party like it's '69! Woohoo! Time for some gaming sessions.

BORN FREE, AS FREE AS THE WIND. That's how we're supposed to live our lives. Not under pressure of examinations. Freedom is SWEET! Now the nagging shall stop! Or not....

Ah well, I don't have much else to say. My life is as dull as ever. I'm gonna go and catch some shuteye. Bye y'all!

"Why do you tease me so?"

2007-10-10T15:54:00.000+08:00

Well, I decided to change my blogskin 'cos I was bored. Then again. I get bored a lot nowadays. Finally. One more day and freedom is knocking at my door. Let's party people! Boo yea! Well, it's another short post. (as always...) I gotta go and cram for the final paper. Buh-bye people.

"I'd do anything. Just to hold you in my arms. To try to make you laugh. Would you remember me? 'Cos I know I won't forget you."

2007-10-09T14:25:00.000+08:00

Yep. It's been a helluva long time since I last posted. Chinese paper's tomorrow. Boo yea! Not.... It sucks, Chinese... Total waste of a time and whatever. I said it before and I say it again. I'd rather learn what goes on in the minds of girls than learn that total alien subject.

2 more papers until the end of exams. The prospect of freedom never tasted so good. I'm looking forward to it. This year's examinations were a total fiasco, the girl problem totally pulled me below the water. It sucked. My dreams are dashed. All for a moment of infatuation. Someone call me stupid... Dumb, whatever. Something bad... I need to wake up.

And then after the exams. The results. Even more torture. My parents will really be breathing down my neck. Quite literally.

I'm still in a dilemma really... I don't know what to do. It's like totally tearing me apart. And those good old nightmares are back. How nice. I can't sleep well in the middle of the examinations. ^$%@^$!$*^#^@%$@#$%&&*&%$....

Well, I better go. I'm gonna go and study maths. To hell with Chinese.

"And then again, you were always leading me by the nose. Please, stop."

2007-09-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

Exams are like on the day after tomorrow. And I still haven't thought out the girl problem. I think my thread just snapped. "Ahhh!" I can't believe I let this get to me. I'm so gonna fail, fail, fail. I'm dead. D-E-D, Dead! Damn this. I don't wanna take my exams. Somebody shoot me.

Sorry my posts have been increasingly short. I can't really think of much to write. Bye.

"I like to feel her eyes on me when I look away."

2007-09-25T23:11:00.000+08:00

Lessons have really getting me down. I can hardly concentrate. I fall asleep. I don't learn ANYTHING. What the hell is wrong with me?!!??!?! I can hardly understand half of what the teachers are trying to teach us. I still can't see the usefulness of Chinese tho'. I really can't. You know what they should teach us in school. "What goes on in girls' minds." That will be a heck more useful than Chinese. Hell, it'll probably be the ONLY lessons I pay attention in.

Interpreting the a girl's mind is like trying to look for a mouse in a labyrinth. You can find out anything. Girl's minds are completely alien to me. Who wants to be a translater? I'm hating every moment of life right now. Because I can't really put the puzzle of my feelings together. It's still pretty jumbled up.

Yep. Another short post. Sorry guys, but I've got no mood to blog. Honest. Not today anyway. Good night all.

"One moment. That's all I need to say how I feel. Then you can choose to ignore me. But it'll be salt in the wound"

2007-09-21T22:14:00.000+08:00

A problem has been nagging my mind these few days... Girls... That's the problem.... I know now's probably not the time to be thinking about these kind of things... But I'm sure this will come to the mind of most teenage boys someday.... Except for a few that I know of (*cough* *cough* Jeff, Foster *ahem* *cough*)... It's been making it hard to concentrate on my schoolwork... Plus with the exams just around the corner, I'm hanging off a cliff by a thread... *SCREAM* Songs no longer help nowadays. Neither does screaming into my pillow like an idiot. I REALLY need help... Honest.

Two girls. TWO! My mind is really messed up. Some "expert" has advised me to confess my feelings. Honestly, I don't want to. I still haven't forgotten what happened the last time I did that. Ignored, for close to two years. It is not the revealing I fear, it's the rejection. I definitely don't think now is the time. I should wait. But it's still very hard.

I really don't know what to do. I'm really confused. I need help.

The two of them. I think the choice is obvious but I don't know either. The first one is the very goody-two-shoes type, very hardworking but very shy. The second one is not that goody goody, but she is fun to be with, slacker, but she has a boyfriend. To make things worse, her boyfriend's a close friend of mine. I'm willing to wait, I have a lot of time. Hell, I can even wait until I'm 18. I don't know. Can anyone help?

Getting a girl, is like being a seeker in a game of Quidditch. She's hard to catch, but worth a lot of points. Then, as you're catching up, a friend of yours, playing the opponent gets there first. That's how I'm feeling right now. Fed up. My friend is ahead of me. It's like I have a slower broomstick or something.

The hardest part of this is that, both of the girls have caught the attention of 2 of my friends. Close friends. Oh, the unfairness of it all.

"I want you here tonight, I need you by my side, for just one more moment."

2007-09-20T12:28:00.000+08:00

Being on MC for 2 days... Really bores one out... Being stuck at home while your friends are at school, but you still have to go for tuitions... Well doesn't that just suck? I know, 'cos that's what's going on right now... Boredom, it's flooding my life... *scream*

Exams are around the corner... That's just GREAT! ! &#*$ Well I say f**k results... My parents, hope that I'll be just as good as Sam... "Did you know his essay was published in the newspapers?" or "His art was so good that it was framed and put in the art museum." or "He got straight As for his PSLE and he did well in his 'O' Levels." blah blah blah blah.... Yep, that's what I've been hearing a lot these days... Who loves it? If anyone of you does, I'll personally kick yer bleedin' arse!

Back to school tomorrow. Skipping tuition this Saturday. (Who cares about chinese anyway?)

And yep, that's about it... See ya peeps!

"Hey girl you know ya drive me crazy."

2007-09-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

Back from camp! *cheers loudly* It was quite fun, really... And I learnt quite a lot of things. So here's a quick recap......

Day 1:
7.43a.m.- Arrived in school. "Oh no, I'm late!". Listened to the briefing.
8.00a.m.-Went up to the bunks. Put my bag down. Re-arranged the tables(to sleep on).
8.30a.m.-Breakfast, Nasi Lemak......
9.10a.m.-*I forgot what happened*
-
10.00p.m.-*I forgot*
11.00p.m.- Confidence/Night walk. Fun! SPLs tried to scare us. Didn't really work for me.
4.00a.m.-Went to sleep.

Day 2:
8.30a.m.-Wash-up
9.00a.m.-Breakfast I think...
-
11.00a.m.-Can't remember much.
11.05a.m.- Set off for Changi Village.
? p.m.- Set off to Pulau Ubin on bumboat
-
6.00p.m.- Went back to the mainland.
7.00+p.m.- Had dinner.
8.00p.m.- Returned to bunk to slack......
Somewhere between 9-10p.m.- Tribute from SPLs to PLs. Really good... >.<
? p.m.- Slacked, bathed and slept.

Day 3, the final day(also today):
6.30+a.m.- Woken up by Weilin.
6.30+a.m.- Cleaned up the bunk and re-arranged the tables.
? a.m.- Went down for breakfast.
11.00+a.m.- Did the N.Y.A.A thing.
11.50+a.m.- Released. Headed for home.
12.00p.m.- Arrived home.

That's about it, really... But it was fun, and very enriching. Although I'm happy to be home, I will miss PL camp. To all the SPLs, thank you for the wonderful time you have granted us, and thank you for all your hard work and planning. And many thanks to Ms. Yeo as well. Kudos to all!

"Why couldn't I have been there?"

2007-08-27T15:31:00.000+08:00

Is wanting to maintain one's own privacy wrong? I mean, as a teenager.

Have you ever wondered why parents always ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO look through your things? E.g:- Messages, blogs, diaries etc.

I guess they may have, as they say, some "right" as parents. But how much rights do they exactly have?? Why am I writing all these you may ask? Truthfully, I quarreled with Mom again. Yes, because of the touchy topic of privacy. I don't know, maybe some of your parents do respect yours, but definitely not mine.

I was on MSN with a few friends and mom wanted to look... So I switched of the screen. Then, the quarrel started... Blah, blah, blah... I mean, what's the big deal anyway? I'm just chatting. And then she's all like "I'm your mom, I have the right to see." There it is again. the dreaded 5 letter word: "RIGHT" (or maybe 6 in some cases... as in "RIGHTS". like child/teenager "RIGHTS"!!!)

Someone define "RIGHT". I just want to maintain privacy, am I wrong to do so? I can't do stuff in private anymore... Life's like a living hell. Honestly. And just the other day, she was looking through my messages. How much more I can take, I honestly don't know.

Well I'm done with my ranting... Pfft..

Another hectic day at school... Lessons with teachers I simply can't stand the some of... (*ahem* bulldog *cough* *cough*) Lessons I totally don't understand... And well, that's about it... I'm still searching for Emma Watson's blog though, but I still can't find it. I know the last parts but I just can't figure out the first word... Damn... I've searched the entire Oxford English Dictionary (old & new), a Latin Dictionary which I can't remember the title of and a French Dictionary which I also forgot the title... Maybe I missed one or two words... Damn...

Don't really know what else to write, honest... Have a camp at the end of the week... Night walk... Should be fun... Going solo... MuahAhAhAhAhAhAhA!!!! Buh-bye now... (don't mind the english... I'm a lil' tired)

"Now my mind's in a whirl...... Should I ask you out, or should I wait till you're 'ready'?"

2007-08-02T18:58:00.000+08:00

Hey guys... Yes yes... I know it's been too long since my LAST post... I wanted to, but my PC wouldn't let me... So I shall post today! Applaud please...

Exams, exams, exams.... Booooring... Really hard on the mind y'know... *sigh* Yes, I have seriously nothing to say... Well, I'm glad to say my relationships with most of my friends have greatly improved... Hopefully they'll stay that way... *laugh*

Well, I guess I don't have much else to say... Once again, a thousand and one apologies for such short posts...

"Why? Why? Why have you been ignoring me... Have I done something wrong?"

2007-07-20T18:10:00.001+08:00

Today was Racial Harmony Day... Wore jeans to school.. Blah blah... Complete waste of time... *laughs*

Went to watch Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix today(yes, again) with the guys... I kind of enjoyed it better because I had the guys to joke with... Rather than my mom... Pfft... Anyway, I sort of understand the movie better now... SORT OF..

Supposed to go for dinner with mom and big bro... But I didn't feel like it... So now I'm at home... Sitting here on my a**... Doing some #*%$ Chinese tuition homework.. Which I might add (sadly) is due tomorrow... Well that sucks... Anyway, can't stay to write any more.. I got to rush all this homework out.... I know my posts have been very short this couple of months... And my sincere apologies to all... I simply have nothing to write about... So see you... For now anyway...

"Why do you have to torture me so... You give me hopes and then take 'em away"

2007-07-14T10:20:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Okay.. So I know I was s'posed to "review"
Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix yesterday.. But I was just too sleepy to even blog about anything yesterday.. So I went to watch the movie yesterday.. With family and friends...

Let's just say the movie was and utter DISAPPOINTMENT! It totally contradicted the book.. Too many mistakes for me to actually list down... Guess you guys will have to read the book and watch the movie to "spot the mistakes"... In the movie, they missed out so many scenes I was hoping to see in the movie from the book... Like the cleansing of Grimmauld Place.. Or the pimples on Marietta's face... I was so looking forward to those scenes.. But they weren't shown.. *sob* Well in my book, Emma Watson was the film's saving grace =) *laughs out loud*

Bored.. Again.. *sigh* Mountains of homework.. Where to begin? I don't know how you guys can find so much to blog about... This sucks... See ya guys soon...

"I don't know whether to wait or to let go..."

2007-07-11T20:23:00.000+08:00

Hey guys.. I know.. Not many posts.. Same as ever.. Life has been just a straight road. Void of colors... Boring.. Nothing much to blog about. I haven't been going out much. "Lazy" would be the word to describe it.. Haha..

Went to Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserve. Informative but didn't get to see much, mostly plants.. Had lots of fun scaring the crap outta Chen Qi as well.. Tricking her is like so damn easy. Learnt the names of many of the plants too. Never even knew their names before. And saw 2 Water Moniters as well.. Quite interesting.. Went home.. Nothing much else really. Then the guys abandoned me at 7-Eleven.. *growls*

Going to watch Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix on Friday.. Hopefully the movie will be good. After the amount of talk this movie has been given.. It should be fun.. Haha. Looking at the trailers, it should be the best movie of the lot so far. I'll "review" on Friday night.

In case you guys haven't noticed, I've decided to write my posts from now on in proper English. So please don't mind my spellings, punctuation or tenses.. Thanks..

"Why the covert glances milady? If you feel the same way you know where I'll be..."

2007-07-04T20:03:00.000+08:00

Okay.. I've tested the blogs on both IE and Firefox.. The song can only be heard on Firefox..
If ya guys wanna hear this awesome song, download Firefox from http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/ for free! Trust me guys, the download is worth it.. Plus it's much more convenient than IE.. Well I think it is anyway

Jeff's B'day today.. Happy B'day Jeff! After training splashed water on him.. And Benoit gave him SunSilk shampoo for his B'day present -_____-'''..

Training today... Weights, blah blah blah.. Tiring.. Bored.. Then went home... Dunno whether to start h/w anot...

*sigh* nothing to blog about really... Buh-bye..

"Could I hold your hand to fight reality?? 'Cos your voice burst like bombs inside my heart"